My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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