I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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