...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
