If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude. I can hear the air.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
