question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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