HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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