What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your cock deserves a montage
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
