he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
