You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
