I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I touched a dick in church today
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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