I need help removing her.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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