if you like me you must not know who I am
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
