You can't motorboat a personality
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
