It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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