at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
