I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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