Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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