Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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