i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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