i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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