Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize