So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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