so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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