Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
