I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
