So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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