yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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