dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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