Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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