forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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