So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
