we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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