There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
