I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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