Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
