dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
