I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
