I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
