Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
