I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
