she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
