im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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