The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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