There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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