Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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