he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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