We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
