he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
false alarm. still invincible.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
