Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
