I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
