i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
