I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
