i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
