Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
