Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
