Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just blew my weed a kiss
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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