I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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