I wish i was in the wii world.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize