Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize