If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
