I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
