I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
