discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
