I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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