I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
